InRetro

by Sonia Tetlow

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    When you download the album, you will also receive the accompanying 8 page pdf booklet of the liner notes and story behind each song. Enjoy!

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06:53
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01:58
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05:05
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01:56
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02:32
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about

This is a collection of songs that is a reflection of my life and, along with the accompanying booklet of liner notes, tells the story of my journey from punker snarls to banjo pickin' reflection during the first decade of the new millenium. The tracks range from previously released tracks to home demos sketching out an idea.

credits

released December 21, 2011

Credits for each song are noted in the liner notes. Please download the accompanying pdf.

©2011 SonicGrrl Music, BMI

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Sonia Tetlow Atlanta, Georgia

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Track Name: Anti
I feel ugly
I feel deceived
I thought love was the key to everything
but love is not enough for me
I need to feel motion
deep turning tides
I seem to crave a wave of emotion
crashing over my life

cuz I
want to reach deep
search seek
live with every ounce of me

I feel my life
slipping by day to day
and I want to fill each and every moment
before it wastes away
I don't want to keep running
but I just can't stand still
I need to move with the smooth
and rough edges
of exploration at will

cuz I
want to reach deep
search seek
live with every ounce of me

so give me temptation
give me trials
give me pain fear hurdles to clear
and something to occupy desire
I don't think it's destruction
but it ain't poetry
it's just a way of living without dying
or dying a good life anyway
dying a good life anyway
dying a good life

cuz I
want to reach deep
search seek
look touch
feel ****
live with every ounce
Track Name: Beggar, Queen & Thief
beggar, queen & thief
you take when you give
so you give just what you need
I can't believe I let you
have so much of me
I can't believe that you could
walk away so casually

but I'm okay
I'm okay

beggar, thief & queen
you give when you love
but you love 'til it bleeds
I can't believe I let you
reign over me
I can't believe how quickly
you could leave

but I'm okay
I'm okay

queen, thief & beggar
I gave away my heart
kept no part to treasure
I can't believe I could
feel no love for me
I can't believe I could
need so desperately

but I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay
Track Name: Close to Me
Half naked half wild
I gotta feeling that's building
can't keep it inside
I wander
come close to me

Half struggling half free
gotta feeling that's building
taking over me
I wander
come close to me

oh, close to me

Half lost or is it found
am I flying high above
or six feet underground
I wander
come close to me

Half twisted half sane
am I falling through the glass
or just looking at my face
I wonder
come close to me

oh, close to me

Half wasted stone sober and cold
gotta feeling that's building
that's taking control
I want you
close to me

Half woman, half little boy
gotta feeling that's building
that cannot be destoyed
I want you
close to me

oh, close to me
Track Name: Green
hey, oh
watch your feet don't run
watch your feet don't run
home

find you
fear don't fear no fate
no fear don't find no fate no
roam

but careful which way you go
don't travel too far from home

I've seen you
tiger in the night
eyes a-blazing bright
ghost

tireless truth
faith to conquer fear
love to bring you near
hope

but careful which way you go
don't travel too far from home

into the valley of the green
where silken leaves caress your cheeks
and sweep away the bitter dreams
that lead you to despair

all around the world is green
blocked by simple smoking screens
that feed us on the frenzied scene
of always wanting more

so let us now both you and I
blow through smoke into the sky
and open up our failing eyes
to recognize the green

green of laughter
green of love
green of wonderment
and trust
let us stand now
at the cusp
and jump
into the light
Track Name: Swerve
she was he was she oh he was

bind your breasts
hold your breath
the end will come too soon
hide your blood
all your love
will end much too soon

in the night
in the heat
in the wanting
I believe I am he she needs
oh lover
come marry me tonight
through lights
of factory fields
I see you naked
like all my need
oh lover
come bury me tonight
Track Name: 'neath the Sun
a man came walkin'
'neath the sun
speaking words of love
man struck down
by a stone
the heart of pain
unjustly thrown

and I want to be free

there are chains that blind me
there are chains that I can see
there are chains that bind so many people
you start to think there's no other way to be

but I want to be free

so I will walk
'neath the sun
speaking words of love
love ain't easy
it don't always please
but I still believe
it'll set me free

and I want to be free
Track Name: Single Day
She's got the world
upon her fingers
why wouldn't I stare
A balancing of expectation
all the people who say they care

but let it go
let it out
give yourself the time to think about
who you are now
why and how
you don't believe you're worth a single single
day

pick up the phone
call me
it's not that hard to see
that you don't care
you never did
it's just a crap shoot
called russian roulette

but let it go
let it out
I just need some time to figure out
who I am now
why and how
I don't believe I'm worth a single single
day

Please take this gun out of my head
Release my fingers from the dead
Track Name: Summertime
I've been four years old
at the end of a gun
scared shitless, helpless, hopeless
cuz I could not run
But I don't care
baby I don't mind
I'll take a hole in the head
over a knife in the back anytime

My skin is crawling
with memory
in the dead of the night
my bed feels like a hundred degrees
how do you know
baby how can you tell now
if the lesson you learn just burn you
like this heat from hell

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

I need to relax
get out of the grind
a-go online offline into space
and out of time
in the belly of a bird
or on the wing of the sea
just take me out of me
into you out of you into me

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

into you out of me
into you out of me
into you out of me
Track Name: Breathe
breathe
take it deep
earth is turning towards the sun
I gotta find some way to sleep

but youth
paint it blue
it ain't no mystery that the truth's
gonna be the of death of you

gone
for so long
gotta find my way through right and wrong
if I want to get back home

but I
outta know
that this is just the way things are
the way they always go

so get down get down get down get down get down...

cuz I don't know why
I gotta sing or die
yah I don't know why
but this is how I stay alive

so get down get down get down get down get down...

breath
take it deep
earth is turning towards the sun
I gotta find some way to sleep

but I
outta know
that this is just the way things are
they way they always go
Track Name: Ash
Caught in a whisper
a glimpse of the truth I wish not to know
Together as ever alone

I never noticed
that holding too tightly I could not breathe
Always left wanting by you

But the light grows over the ground
Leading my feet to turn me around

I dream of an empire
with buildings of fire and burnings of faith
Where love is the music we make

But you cannot go there
you will not believe without tasting the flame
Now black is the ash that remains

But the light grows over the ground
Leading my feet to turn me around
Track Name: Bittersweet
Take this apple from my eye
I can't see for all the green
Taste this mantra in my mind
Turn the bitter into sweet

bitter into sweet bitter into sweet

I could be most anything
but the constant that you need
still, is it better not to have been
than to try to turn this bitter into sweet

bitter into sweet bitter into sweet
bitter into sweet bitter into sweet
Track Name: Leap of Faith
Come with me
it's not as far as you think
though love's as hard as you think
and I can't deny
eyes open wide
searching the skies

So we are
bruised and scarred
circling round our battlements
sharpening our best defenses
why
can't we try
can't we fly
let go and fly
away
away

Come...
Track Name: Comfort
comfort come quickly
I feel like I'm drowning again
and I don't know
how long I can hold my breath

I thought if I tried
my best I could carry us through
but it seems like
it's never enough for you

and I know that I'm hard
I don't mean to be
but it's the saddest of scars
when you cut yourself free
of me

I open my window
to hear the leaves rustle with rain
and silence this silence
one again
Track Name: K Flood Blues
2005
August time
the heat is getting hotter
and a storm is on the rise
so batten down the hatches
and abandon the ship
a change is a-coming
and it's blowing on the wind
say goodbye to New Orleans

the wind is whipping hard
the trees are bent and broken
the water is churning
and the cameras are rolling
looks like the big one
prophesized for years
it's the oldest of stories
but we never did believe
it could fly in New Orleans

I say hey ya pocky oh ah pocky way

come Tuesday morning
and the skies are clear
but the levees done blown
there ain't no getting outta here
mother and father
and little sister too
I told you to leave
now what am I gonna do
I don't know how
to get you out of New Orleans

I say hey ya pocky oh ah pocky way

a million calls
dropped every time
cuz there ain't no cell service
not a dry land line
and I want to believe
that help is on its way
but it's been 5 days long
of watching people dehydrate
dying on the streets of New Orleans

That's in the United States of America

so good job Brownie
way to go
the CNN news knows more than you know
good job Georgie
your daddy's son
but could you drop down some water
from your Airforce One?

yah, pocky oh ah pocky way

I want to thank you Dietmar
for getting the canoe
floating my family to the entrance of the school
thank you Coast Guard
for picking them up
flying them safely
to the Causeway Exit drop
thank you Tania
for sneaking through the lines
5,000 in the airport
she found them just in time

I say hey ya pocky oh ah pocky way
I say hey ya pocky oh ah pocky way
I say hey ya pocky oh ah pocky way
Track Name: Lonely Street
Somewhere long ago
in a place I don't ever want to go again
I lost what little sense I had
Stubborn as a stone
Fragile as a home broken by pain
a pill-popping shame

and if you find me walking down Lonely Street
would you stop and remind me, "Hey!
what cha doing in this place?"

I was just a kid
and everything everyone else did
seemed so much better than my own half-hidden heart
Silent as a still picture
fading over time ticking away
like my invisible face

and if you find me walking down Lonely Street
would you stop and remind me, "Hey!
what cha doing in this place?"

Cuz in the morning
it all looks so different
and the marks upon your arms
become the scars that you'll overcome
so stop
put down the razorblade
flush all your shame away
just give yourself the break
you'd offer anyone else

and if you find me walking down Lonely Street
would you stop and remind me, "Hey!
quit staring down at your feet!"
cuz all around you are the dreams that will set you free
and you'll be fine
so just don't f*ck it up this time
Track Name: Come Back
Judging by the morning light you'd never know the distance
from me to you that grew late last night
it's funny how quick change feels even when you know it's been coming on for so long
but you're never quite ready for the hammer to fall

come back
come back
come back

Strange this crossing into apparition
was it the pain or was it what you took for it
cuz somewhere along the way you just up and seemed to disappear
and now I fear you may be gone for good

come back
come back
come back

Restless as the wind my heart grows, restless and weary
wandering alone out here among the stones
but I will wait forever in the faith that will not falter
from me to you tattooed long ago

come back
come back
come back
Track Name: Oh Magnolia
Oh magnolia
my sweetest climbing tree
down in new orleans
back when once I was a child

you offered up to me
a bed of branch and bough
when our house grew too loud
and anger seemed the only sound

carry me
on the breeze
we'll swing and sway
trouble away
and shelter me
in your canopy
til I have found
my own way down
to solid ground

every day we'd race home
my sister to her books
while I'd climb high and look
watching guard over all I could see

and when your blossoms came into bloom
like velvet river moons
I'd watch over them too
making sure no one took them from you

carry me
on the breeze
we'll swing and sway
trouble away
and shelter me
in your canopy
til I have found
my own way down
to solid ground

Oh magnolia
it's been many years gone by
since I have touched the sky
cradled in your leaves of green

But I remember well
how gently you held me close
safe from harder blows
til I was strong enough to go

carry me
on the breeze
we'll swing and sway
trouble away
and shelter me
in your canopy
til I have found
my own way down
to solid ground
Track Name: Treading Water
I'm curled in the window of a coffee shop
watching the world whip by
sometimes I want to make it stop
but sometimes I want a ride
I try to figure out
how everyone gets by
me, I've just been treading water
all of my life

Everyone's got their laptops
to disappear into
I count my crosses while thinking of you
I know you're trying to figure out
how to say goodby
me, I'll just keep treading water

Can we find our way
when I don't know what you're looking for
and every mistake I make
hurts you worse than the one before
I just thought I'd know better by now

Emma makes the coffee
like she does most every day
William checks the stoop
for a half-smoked butt to blaze
and I bide my time
watching the rain